Please remember that you are choosing to read my opinions.

For those of you that don't know, I'm taking online graduate classes at the local college for Human Services. Nothing has gone right since the semester started. First it was my computer. It wasn't long into the semester that computer mysteriously stopped turning on altogether. This was the first setback of the semester, as all the research and work I'd done to that point was lost, and I have to share computer time with my girlfriend, and her computer isn't as good as mine.

Shortly after that I started experimenting with a very serious drug, known by some as... CAFFEINE, in it's infamous crystallized coffee form. The energy I got from it was amazing, unfortunately I used all that energy to run back and forth from the bathroom. I must have peed at least 224342039 times a day, so my drug experimentation declined. I'm not big on caffeine anyway, but I needed the energy, I just was too tired to get anything done. Getting things done does not happen between the frequent trips to the bathroom, though. <insert coffee induced bathroom break>.

Apparently there was a combination of reasons for why I was so tired. The one that is most apparent now is the massive cold that fully developed shortly afterwards. Perhaps it was just a sinus infection, or some other gross thing where your nose simultaneously is stuffy and runny, you sneeze, your head hurts, and so on. Either way, there was not much getting done between sneezing and blowing my nose, taking medicine, and so on.

Then I finally got my computer back. I was elated, ready to finally get busy with the speed of my laptop in my lap, and a twinkle in my eye. I turn it on, work for 10 minutes, and it shuts off. A fluke, I say to myself. I try again. Thank goodness, it was just a fluke, I think, as 45 minutes pass. And then it shuts off again. I shake my fists at the sky and scream dramatically at the gods of productivity. Curses, I say, curses...

When I realized I had to send my laptop back to the service center again and my dreams of being super productive with my laptop were painfully and immediately crushed, I thought I was going to have a breakdown.

Combine this all with having a kitten and a dog to take care of and keep under control, and all that other day to day stuff that happens when you are home all day. (How do you ever find time to write, Sandi!?)

 The first thing I do in the morning is feed the cat, then  walk the dog ,otherwise I can't let her out of the cage or she'll pee or poo somewhere naughty. I then feed the dog. By then I am hungry, so I have to eat. There is no avoiding this, because if I try to work before I eat, I get hungry, and my hunger interferes with my work. I start thinking of food when I should be thinking about the importance of metropolitan governance on providing human services, or something, and have to stop in the middle of everything to make food. At this point it is probably around 1:00 pm, and I'm ready to get to work. The animals are running across me, playing, biting each other, climbing on me, laying across my papers, or getting into something they shouldn't. Somewhere in there, I've probably started to feel gross and I've had to shower.

Then add to this the anxiety and depression that builds from not getting enough done every day, from having literally no productivity, and the seemingly constant set backs. I'm having a hard time keeping up in my classes, and it only adds to the frustration. And you would think that all of this would be an inspiration to work harder and really try to get things done, but it doesn't. It makes me feel the opposite, like giving up and huddling in a corner, or doing anything but working on what I need to (like writing blogs!). In the end, it'll all work out, I know. I'll get caught up with the help of my hopefully understanding teachers and my own ingenuity as usual.

But honestly, I'm in a bad state right now. I feel like I can't do what I always could easily do before. And let me tell you, the work I'm doing right now isn't really that hard for me, and if I wasn't having so many problems one after another, I'd have no problem keeping up and my mood, or what have you, wouldn't be at such a low point.

Essentially, what can go wrong, will-- and at the worst possible moment. Nothing could sum up my state of mind better right now.

The good news is that the 20th was our one year anniversary. It was the best reason for not being productive so far. Things could hardly be going better in our relationship, and it is one thing I'm truly happy with.