Please remember that you are choosing to read my opinions.

I've spent a lot of time with online people collectors like myspace and the various picture rating services. I think a person can learn a lot about people from these things. For example, I've learned that I don't like people. I don't even like myself as far as that goes. I'm tempted to sign up for one of those matchmaker services so that I can prove false all of the outrageous claims like "we match people's souls!" and such. It's all a crock of poo and, although it is probably slightly more reliable than going on a three day bender in Vegas, it still wouldn't work all too well.

I've learned that I don't like people who can't spell their hobbies correctly, and most the time I don't like their hobbies anyway. For example, "I like to go "4-whelling." I just want to tell them to wear a dress or some other ancient female custom. I'm in the wrong time period, perhaps.

I've also learned that I hate the order in which people tell things about themselves. How does this sound?

"Well, I love drinking till I puke, laying out in the sun, partying from 3 AM to 2 PM, reading poetry, and my mom." Or, more typically, "I luv gettin drunk, partying, 4-whellin,tannin, raeding, and my mom tho she's a drunk."

There are some things about people that I don't need to know. First off, I don't need to know that you lay out in the sun or tan in other ways. It isn't, contrary to popular belief, something important to tell someone. If that just happens to be something important to someone aside from yourself, they should be able to figure out that you've spent a good deal of time damaging your skin or coating yourself in that completely natural looking orange dye. What
are people going to do for an extracurricular activity when tanning goes out of style?

In theory, though, people write about themselves based on what comes to their mind first or what they want you to know the most first. That is why it bugs me to see someone writing, "Well, I have a bunch of tattoos, I listen to opera, I have three kids, I like to drink, I like kittens, flowers, and...shooting people". What the heck? The thing I need to know is right at the end! Look what came first, though. Tattoos are either the first thing that came to mind or it is the thing that they believe is most defining about themselves. What do tattoos really
say about a person, anyway? Too much time and money? Couldn't think of anything to do with the money and couldn't imagine the day when they didn't want Mickey Mouse on their neck? I'd like to know why it's so important.

The behavior of people online. The sociological phenomenon alone is enough for several books. People can choose from any number of ways to identify themselves on the internet and the only thing they can come up with is "Abercrombie316"
or "FoxRacingChick" or "YourAdHere182." The effect of advertising on people is creepy, as shiny mentioned the other day about McDonalds. The psychology behind choosing a name for ourselves is already interesting, but then people go and make it better by flocking together under the corporate banners of clothing companies leading to entire armies of Tommy Girls and Hollister Boys.

These are just some of the things I thought about while browsing profiles today. What do you think?